WRITING | FREE FLOW
I am every version of every choice I’ve ever made 14
Twirling through time like swirling moons nigh turning retrograde 14
I want to break free from form
and not have to count
every fucking line
but sometimes when I start
I get so formal
and it stifles my expression
it changes my voice
it keeps me from saying what I really want to say.
I just say rhymey shit
and not what’s really on my mind
because what a strange thing that would be —
to say what’s on my mind.
To go there, to invite it in to sit with me, to talk. To be vulnerable with myself, inside myself, by myself, yet with myselves. So there’s always the time traveler’s multitude of selves that are always there, no matter where or when “there” is. Add to that the seemingly central narrative that the ever-changing “present-moment” me is comprising making it feel like the only real, authentic, and genuine me. I am the culmination of all of the past versions of me and I cannot be any of the future versions of myself — yet — so I am always whatever the present moment me is. And that changes. He changes. I change. The story changes. I am never the same me in any moment because I either know something new, or have changed simply by the passage of time.
Once I finally wade through all the versions of self and address all of their needs, I check in with present-state me, address his needs, etc., then usually and sometimes unconsciously start writing rhyme city lingo bingo blah blah stuff. I mean it’s fun and great and cool and awesome and all of that but it’s also not what this faucet needs right now. I need free flow. I need to let go. The full moon occurred just a bit ago. Wiped me out but still wants more. I need to let go of more. Forgive. Open arms and mind to receive.
After my spiritual check-in, I move to finances. I have that bookmarked to accomplish today. Moving on.